The Backlash
Of course the study is not without its detractors. Many of those charged with keeping the public safe and sober are crying foul, claiming that the study is flawed and does not take into account the numerous other risks associated with drinking that have contributed to millions of deaths. While we begrudgingly agree to those facts, it seems like they just want to rain on our parade! Can’t they just give us our single moment of self-righteousness? Shall we drink to it?

Some Big Numbers
A favorite feature of Lazy Slob, is when we do quick calculations to get our heads around just how impressive these fact can be. We call it Napkin Math. Just to be clear, our figures are not scientific and relate only to the calculations we are doing within the article itself. We are looking at the volume of beer it would take to drink that much every day. Outside of the costs and weight gain, it seems like it would take an awful lot of time to drink this much but who are we to judge.

Napkin Math
Let’s look at the numbers: Six (6) pints a day x 30 days/mo = 22.5 gallons a month or 270 gallons a year. A typical beer keg holds 15.5 gallons so the heavy drinker outlined above goes through over 17 kegs a year. That is a ton of beer…actually, more than a ton. 2,160 pounds to be exact! (Typical gallon = 8lbs) Wow, no wonder it is so hard lose weight and drink like we do.

What to Do?
If this teaches us anything, it is to at least keep drinking. Maybe not at the record pace of the the heart healty, liver-ill subject studies for this project, but at least enough to keep you motor (and ticker going) Let us know your thoughts.

Hammer Time
The charges are supposed to include making a false statement/report to authorities and a more serious charge for Richard, of improper influence of a public official CNN is reporting. Does not look like it will be jail time but a big fine could be a part of the mix. Authorities were holding deportation over the head of Mayumi, a Japanese citizen, if they wanted to take their chance (albeit doomed) chance in court.

I guess this puts and end to the acting hopes. No network or producer would be willing to risk the public outcry if they were to put them out there for public consumption. Oh wait, maybe they just hit the jackpot! Isn’t this country just great?

Mal-Tease Falcon?
No word on if Falcon will be sentenced to a box for an extended period of time but I fully expect some sort of drug arrest, public redemption, followed by a sex tape and TV reality show in his future. We can only hope!

“How much of US history is known outside of the US?”
Americans have a big view of ourselves and our place in the world but not sure if that translates to worldwide historical knowledge. The biggest international things related to our history would have to center around Native Americans/Old West and Slavery. Is that what we are known for? Oppression of peoples? That and the movie industry? Sad really. What other part of our history can be considered “World History”?

What Do We Know about Other Countries History?
Thinking about some of the likely country candidates for “Tops In World History Knowledge”, they have a distinct advantage based purely on their age/written record. Egypt, Greece, Italy(Rome), even England (Or is it Great Britain–who can keep up with that technicality?) Most of us grew up with segments of these countries history inserted into our textbooks and lesson plans. But not sure who we and other countries learned most about. My guess would be Greece based solely on it roots to the development of Europe and all those countries.

Any Other Candidates?
Who are we missing? Germany? Outside of WWII, not much. China? Too closed for too long, not enough historical momentum…maybe that will change. Japan? Don’t think so. We would love to hear your thoughts.

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Here is our Flying Angel!

What Now?
After the media tour dies down, Were able to see they made the Today Show this morning, thank goodness. authorities are going to take a hard look at what to do to this family. They will not likely be charged with anything because it all rests on the shoulders of a young child but any good will they had has floated away. Our guess is that they were not looking for this to be as big a production but as it grew, the deeper they dug in. Us that lie on a regular basis, know how that can happen.

The Video Confession…You Decide

By now you have probably hear about the helium craft that may or may not have been carrying a 6-year old 8000 feet above Fort Collins Colorado aimlessly and dangerously. We here at LazySlob.com were very concerned and wanted to do something quickly to ensure only the best possible outcome would transpire.

What Did We Do First?
Knowing time was of the essence, we knew we had to act fast. Our first move was to register BalloonBoy.com of course. Alas, someone just beat us to it. A quick check of the whois records will tell us the sniper…What April 2000? Did we miss something from nearly a decade ago?

Not a Totally New Idea
We have all heard the urban tale of the guy who got a bunch of weather balloons together, tied them to a lawn chair and had a pellet gun to shoot the balloons out and float back down after a pleasant look around. Many versions also have him anchoring it to a Jeep as well. Guess what? It didn’t work and he ripped the bumper off the Jeep and was reported by airline pilots as a UFO. Guess What Again? It is a supposed true story. They even made a movie about it “Danny Deckchair” and a small lawnchair piloting fad erupted in the early 2000′s. (Wasn’t “UP”–A 2009 Disney Movie along the same lines?

Publicity Stunt?
Word is that this is the same family that was on a US based TV show called Wife Swap and maybe the family was looking for some publicity. Very sick to use your 6-year old if true but I don’t really believe it after hearing some neighbor accounts. The latest updates show that the balloon laned without the boy but he is still missing. The end of this story is TBD.

UPDATE:
Well it seems as if Falcon (Really guys?) was hiding in the garage attic the whole time. The father had yelled at him earlier for fooling around with the craft and he was hiding because he was frightened. His brother claimed to have seen him enter a campartment before it took off, hence the search.
“I yelled at him. I’m really sorry I yelled at him,” The dad said while he hugged in at a news conference.

The boys response…“I was in the attic, and he scared me because he yelled at me,” Falcon said. “That’s why I went in the attic.”

The father then dismissed allegations this was a publicity stunt. For me the jury is still “up in the air” on that one.

Both Seem to be Cartoon Charactors
I saw the fro on the main bear and the first thing I thought of…

Uncanny, No?

How Much Was Overpaid?
Because we do not have the actual details, we cannot say for sure but with a little insight into how funds work and taxes are calculated, we can take an educated guess.  First, we can assume that MOST of the investors had income outside of the Madoff fund. The investor lists reads like a who’s who of business and celebrity and the minimum investment requirements would dictate that these were mainly coming from the highest income tax brackets.  As anyone who has received a statement from a stock fund can attest, there are also multiple trades and liquidations throughout any given year so if the Madoff Funds were built to mimic those transaction, we can assume that over the life of the scheme, all if not most of the profit was shown as being realized and reinvested.

Napkin Math Time Again
We all know how much you liked our last exercise with tsunami wave water volumes, so we decided to do the same thing with the tax liability. If we say that the avg. tax bracket of the investors is 30% having factored in some capital gains vs. short term fund gains and apply that to a $30,000,000,000 taxable PROFIT base, the IRS could have collected $9,000,000,000 in taxes on profits that never materialized.  They could be on the hook for refunds (and a claw-back? J)  They might even have to pay interest.

Getting Paid
The IRS and Federal Government have a knack for working around the kind of pesky details that most citizens have to follow, and getting money out of the Treasury can be harder than picking the winning lotto numbers.  Our guess is that the payments from the IRS will be smaller, slower in coming and represent a fraction of what they received but I guess we will just have to wait and see but it is an interesting question.

A 25 foot wave doesn’t sound so big. How was it so destructive?
Couple of things that need consideration with the size of the waves. The volume of water in a 25 footer (not to mention 4 of them) is huge. Considering that a gallon of water is approx 8 lbs, multiply that by how many gallons would be in the make-up of a 25 foot wave in say a 10 foot wide section (or the width of a typical driveway), and you have a big number. Combine that with the fact that the shoreline buildings and homes are built on sand, and that areas closest to the equator do not get tides of any measurable amount so buildings can be much closer to the shore without great risk of flooding. That is a recipe for disaster.

Napkin Math If You Please
A 55-Gallon drum stands about 3 feet tall and 2 feet wide and deep. A 10 foot section would then represent 5 drums wide by 8 (24 feet) drums high. Lets estimate that the wave is 25 feet thick but has diminishing height away from the peak so calculate against half that for volume or only 7 drums deep. Might be low but again, this is only napkin math…we are lazy slobs and love the art of estimation. That gives us 280 drums at 440 pounds each or nearly 62 tons of water. A fully loaded 18-wheeler is 20 tons so this would be three of them stacked on top of each other. That is a lot of weight for a small section of driveway. Now consider them side by side for 10 miles and you begin to get the picture. Finally, we have to factor in the speed at which the waves were moving, 20 miles an hour. That is a heck of a force against buildings not in a position to handle them.

Some Facts About Samoa
Samoa (or Samoan) Islands were formerly known as the Navigators’ Islands. They are a part of Polynesia in the South Pacific. About 215 thousand people live there and English and Samoan are the dual official languages. There are two territories of the Samoa islands. Samoa, formally called Western Samoa or Independent Samoa and American Samoa, a US territory, also called Eastern Samoa.

If you like tropical climates, you would love Samoa. The temperature stays relatively flat all year round at around 80 degrees. There are Wet and Dry seasons so take note if you ever plan on visiting.

Enjoy and we hope you have been able to gleam some useful info for smart conversation. We would love your comments so please feel free to leave one.